I had intended to do more work on my most recent snow-stomp art, depicting champagne being poured from a bottle into a champagne glass. But just as I was finishing the glass, a long-time resident of the condo building where we live (and in front of which I did the work) came out onto his balcony and asked me what I thought I was doing.
I explained with a big smile that I had made a bottle in the snow down the hill (which he could not see from his low balcony) and was now making the glass into which the champagne was being poured.
He informed me in a very officious manner that the condo doesn't own the hillside (where the bottle is); that is public property. He then asked if I had city permission to do that?
Me: I'm just walking in the snow, making a design.
Him: And you know this part up here is owned by the condo. You have to get permission from the condo board to do anything.
Me: I'm just walking in the snow, making a picture for people to enjoy.
Him: But we have a person who is in charge of the landscaping here. You need to get board permission if you are going to change anything.
[etc. etc.]
Me: Oh. Okay.
and I left.
I can't imagine there is any legal bar to my doing the snow-stomp art. And I can't imagine I need anybody's permission to do it in a public park or on the lawn of the condo where I live. Maybe if I had designed some sexually explicit erotica, it would be a different story; and maybe he objected to the depiction of alcohol use on the condo lawn; but I doubt it.
Quite frankly, I think he just objected to anyone having fun.





He's just jealous he didn't think of it first.
Posted by: Rebekah Kloeppel | December 31, 2012 at 03:11 PM
You just met a bully. Adult bullies use or try to use the law or the rules to bully people.
Posted by: Brad | January 01, 2013 at 12:24 PM
Me again. Assume he is not a bully. What is the rational reason for his behavior? I can't see any. Maybe he is not a practised, experienced bully, but this was a one-off episode. Perhaps he was depressed, or angry about something else and took it out on you. Frankly, I don't see this either.
Bullies are not rare. Still it can be difficult to recognize them. The problem is a lot like the lying blackfoot - truthful whitefoot problem in the film Charade. Logicians, like Raymond Smullyan and others, love this problem. They make the problem harder by changing the criteria. For some reason, I have not seen a lot written by strategists or game theorists, who you'd think would be interested.
Anyhow, identifying bullies is not difficult as long as you are on your toes. Bullies like to use a surprise attack so that they can control the situation. So, they try to mimic real, caring humans. This is difficult for them. So, in a situation where they have to do this, they often will show signs of stress. If you give them an opportunity to bully, they will. Just like a liar, if you give him a chance to lie, he will. So, look for signs of stress when the person has to pretend to act normal and look for him to bully if he's given the smallest opportunity. Paul Ekman wrote "Telling Lies" about identifying liars by using similar techniques.
Bullies are more common in certain professions. They are probably over-represented in the legal field, because they like to abuse people by using laws and regulations. They are probably over-represented too in business where there is a hierarchy. Hierarchical organizations give bullies real opportunities because they can abuse people lower than them. There is a tendency for hierarchical organizations to protect the hierarchy, which helps to protect bullies embedded in their organization.
Robert Sutton wrote a book called "No More Assholes." This is basically about bullies in the workplace and how to handle them. His main advice is to avoid them. I agree. Bullies want to choose their victim, set the agenda and control the environment by picking the time and place they bully. The tendency is to accept this. For instance, your question "What are the laws?" could play into your bully's hands. He wants the issue to turn on what is legal and what is not.
If you have to deal again with this guy, don't give him this advantage.
I think bullies respond to incentives, just like real people do. You might be surprised at this, since bullies, who get pleasure from causing pain to others, are not what most people would say are rational. I guess I am saying that even irrational individuals respond to incentives.
So, if you have to deal with him again, think about his incentives. If the cost of bullying is high in his estimation, he won't do it. If the advantages of not bullying outweigh bullying, he won't do it (I think). The other advantage to you is that you are changing the playing field from his (rules and regulations) to yours (economics).
Finally, bullies like to isolate their victim. It's a similar strategy to lions hunting in the veldt. Find the weakest and isolate him. So, for people who are victims of bullies, the thing to do is go online. You will find that you are not alone.
Posted by: Brad | January 01, 2013 at 06:27 PM